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Future Watch: Autumn Prediction Edition

Posted on October 22, 2014, by
Future Watch: Autumn Prediction Edition

Rumours surrounding the upcoming release of Apple’s newly redesigned Macbook Air have been making much of its even slimmer chassis, like it’s the technological successor to Richard Bachman’s 1984 novel Thinner. We’re led to believe that’s a good thing.

The problem with holding laptops to the same standards as supermodels and window glazing is that we’ve proved time and again that we just don’t know when to stop. And when you call your thinnest laptop to date ‘Air’, you’re not leaving yourself much wiggle room while still remaining in the visible dimension. That’s why we predict that laptops in the future will be so thin they will, in fact, be invisible.

A bit like Wonder Woman’s Invisible Plane, invisibility will enhance laptop security, because no matter how big or small, you will only be able to find it by remembering where you put it in the first place. This may pose a problem for those inclined to lose their keys or forget where they parked their car, but that’s really just natural selection at work. The message is clear: remember where you put your things, or fall behind and be devoured by coyotes.

Invisible laptops will also enhance the ‘coolness’ factor of owning a laptop, just like Google Glass made it hip to wear a big stupid computer on your big stupid face (sort of). Imagine sitting in a public coffee shop, skimming the free wi-epicfi and tapping away on a laptop that isn’t there. At this point, it doesn’t matter if no-one can see your screen; everyone knows what people typing in coffee shops are doing. They’re writing novels, because you’re not a proper writer unless proper people can see you properly writing. Whoa, stop the cool train, we want to get on. With our unlaptops.

Thus, Future Watch predicts that by the year bleargharghuhthousand, the unlaptop will be all the rage in Portland, Shoreditch and other hipster enclaves across the (visible) world. You heard it here first.

Or, if you need help with your more visible programs, we’re here to help. Get in touch if you need some, totally visible, assistance.

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